Music to my ears

Hello,

In about a month (in fact, less than), i will take my oral qualifying exams. I have to submit a 10-page proposal by end of the month, and about week after that, i have to defend it in front of my committee. Well, its a big exam (in some ways actually more important than your actual thesis defence).

Anyway, the point is that i am doing everything but study for the exam. Mundane things like looking for apartments, labwork and cleaning the kitchen seem much more exciting than studying. But i think progressively i am getting better at preparing for the exam. One of the things which is helping me get through the boredom of this is, of course, music.

Never has Pink Floyd been more appealing to my brain than now. Like I mentioned in the post 'Brain Damage' is becoming one of top 10 floyd songs for me. Ironically, 'Comfortably Numb' is one of the few being played the most. 'Stairway to heaven' and 'Whole lotta love' are reminding me of the sheer brilliance of Led Zeppelin. The Beatles with their 'A day in life', 'While my guitar gently weeps' and 'Come together' are adding to the harmony. These songs along with The Rolling Stones 'Stuck in the middle with you' and some southern swagger of Lynyrd Skynyrd's 'Free bird' are helping me forget the pain that this exam is. To add icing on the cake, Jimi Hendrix with 'Foxy lady' and 'All along the watchtower' and momentary change of tracks with some Aerosmith and Guns 'n Roses is satisfying my ears.

The point being, once again, its classic rock which is helping me concentrate on my work (Well if you call it concentration if i blog randomly in the middle of reading a paper). Just wanted to write about the awesomeness of classic rock. To end this blog, I am going to use those immortal words by AC/DC.

"For those about to rock, We salute you"

Keep rockin'

My poems to her

The beginning

On the hilltop he waited
Every shadow he saw
Every footstep he heard
He waited eagerly for her

And then she came
Her hair flowing in the wind
Her eyes glowing
She told him 'The wait is over'

She brought colors
He brought paper
And thus it began
The art without borders


Cushion

When the shoulders are tired
And the burden is too much

When the world is against you
And obstacles as such

Hold my hand and walk with me
I will be your crutch

To guide you or to support you
Even if all you need is just a touch


Sunshine

On a cold morning,
Full of fog and mist
Waiting at the street corner

Walking ahead,
With your hand in mine, I know
Sunshine is around the corner



The spark

The spark that was,
It still is,
Hidden under a layer of clouds
Like a lightning waiting

The clouds that are,
They won't be
Light can not hide for long
Through the fog it will shine

The seasons that change,
They will
Guised as a spark
Breaking the monotony

Revisiting Pink Floyd

Wow, it has been a long time since i wrote anything. I think the last post was in August of last year. 7 months with a writer's block.

A lot has happened (as always, one might say) in these last 7 months. Ups and downs as usual. In fact, i think i got so used to ups and downs, i stopped thinking of these as special events. Hence nothing to overcome my writer's block.

So why now? Well, no reason. Just that it feels like somehow the block has passed.

I am here in lab, deciding topics for my orals, reading a bunch of papers and listening to music. Of course you must have guessed by now, i am listening to Pink Floyd. Well, true and false. I am listening to the Pandora Station 'Wish you were here'. Its mainly Pink Floyd, Led Zep and other favourite bands of mine.

I was listening to 'Brain Damage' by floyd and ironically, at the same time i had the inspiration to write. So to acknowledge that song, i am going to quote a few lines from that song.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon


Ok, so revisiting Pink Floyd seems to have done the trick. Hopefully now that i have posted something, i will keep on writing.

See you on the next post.
So long.

Vindication

For those of you who have read my last poem, 'defeat', it was about science defeating me in the battle. However i didnt lose hope and kept on fighting. And it paid off.

When i wrote the poem, i had just come across yet another failed experiment, the same one for which i have been trying to get a positive result since an year ago. But last week, i finally got it. And that is vindication for me...

That also reminded me why i am in science. The exhilaration i experienced after looking at that piece of gel was exactly the thing i was fighting for. One small gel at the end of the day and that relieved the stress i was going through for the last few months. That is what science is about. I always like saying this 'If everything works for the first time, then a paper would be written in 6 months. But behind every figure in a paper, there are atleast a few failed experiments'. I experienced this firsthand. It is the one experiment which works and kicks off a whole series of further experiments that one always hopes for.

So with that feeling in mind, i am writing this, not only to remind myself of this in future when i am struggling to get experiments working, but also for my fellow  men and women who have taken the challenge of science.

At the same time, as i said in my poem, science is saying to me 'You may have won the battle, but not yet the war'

So long

Defeat

I lay down my weapons today
Sweat on brow and blood on sword
In front of the familiar foe
Reminding me how much it cost

My eyes flaming, matching his,
With vengeance in mind I tell him,
"I might have lost the battle,
But the war is not yet lost"

Life out of a laundry basket

You can't tell the difference between new and clean clothes and old and muddled clothes when you live life out of a laundry basket.


-This thought is inspired and contributed to by Ragini

Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day

I am writing this blog as we all celebrate 63rd anniversary of the India's independence.

As the day goes on and i read various facebook statuses, including mine, i am thinking... And i can't help notice a few things.

I know a lot of people who have come here to the US to study or to work. I know some of them will go back to India, most of them will end up staying here - on a green card and get a citizenship eventually. And they will be good American citizens and will go back to India once a year to visit their family. Now i don't see anything wrong with that - it's a personal choice.

If you ask me whether i want to do that? My answer right now is: No. Don't get me wrong, i like living in the states, the material comforts, the individual freedom. But i still want to go back.

I came here to do a PhD.. why didn't i stay in India? Because the opportunities there were limited and i wanted to make myself better at research and start a career in science in a place where they are not limited. So i came to the US. Did i find my dreams coming true? Yes, i joined a university and a lab where i can do the research i want, without a lot of obligations and limitations. I enjoy the freedom, i enjoy the healthy competition, i enjoy the opportunities.

Now ask me why i want to go back when i know i will be "downgrading" from these if i go back. The answer is: I moved to the US because i saw a potential to freely express my  scientist side. But what about other kids in India who couldn't? I went to a place to seek something from a place lacking it. Why shouldn't i bring it back to my home? I am going to go back and eventually have an institute of my own, where i will give my students the same opportunities, the same freedom as i found.

When i see people commenting on the system being screwed up, and thats why they are staying back in the US, i always shake my head. I think, if you are so critical of the system, why not try and change it? Not everyone has to change it by being a politician, or being an IAS/IPS officer. Not everyone has to get sucked into the system. Why can't everyone think of one area they want to improve and work on it?

E.g. I was not satisfied with the science-research system in India, so after gaining some experience in both science and scientific culture, i want to go back and instil some of the positive values i learned into the Indian system.

Well, this is just food for thought. The question I am asking is:

'Do you want to be a deserter and escape from sufferings of your fellow men; or do you want to be Prometheus who brought fire to the mankind'