something of my own and something of others'

Hi,

I am back from quite a long break from writing.. the usual reason .. no inspiration. Well, not that i found inspiration today, but had a thought in mind and also time to write..

So.. i was giving some advice to a friend of mine today.. about relationships and human psyche.. of course, with my advice being sagacious [i bragged for some time about it] it worked.. but then i realized that if i would have followed the same advice myself, things would have been different..

I want to discuss two things here today.
1. We tend to give people advice and often we dont realize that we can use the same advice to make our life better.
2. We almost never think of things from another point of view.


If i think about it, i advise people often [wanted or unwanted]. Do i heed my own advice ? Hardly ever.. Why? We do tend to do that though.. it can be as simple as 'dude, you need to cut your hair ' or it can be relationship advice or it can even be calming people down. We can always come up with solutions to people's problems.. do we realize that we have the similar, if not the same problems? When i calm someone down, i tell them to take 10 deep breaths and count to 10 before doing anything. Do i always do that when i am agitated? Mostly not.

So why is it that we are so good at giving people advice and failing to heed our own words? In terms of boring science, its a side-effect [?] from having an advanced brain. I mean, lower mammals dont do that.. do they? I can't imagine a chimpanzee advising another one to run away from a tiger and not do the same.. So this must be a side-effect of having a functionally advanced brain. Right now, as i am writing this, i have told a friend of mine to go and sleep because sleeping late is not good.. but am i doing that? no.. instead i am type-blurting random thoughts which probably wont even be read by anyone other than me.. [a bit of digression, but i am also inventing a few words today.. e.g. i invented the verb 'to stipend' .. i told someone that i am stipended..]

Anyway, back on track.. about the thought #2..

Any conversation, fight, exchange, transaction requires two parties [unless you are schizofrenic, but even then still two imaginary parties]. Every party will have its own point of view / own set of principles / own set of ideas.. Take into consideration a conversation between two people where they are arguing about something. Each one will have their own notions, ideas, beliefs, even expectations. The main reason for the argument is usually that they dont understand each others points of view. But why? Again refering to my sagacious advice [ok ok.. no more bragging] .. i told her 'if you see his point of view, you will see why he's acting that way.. not justifying his behaviour, but only trying to seek the reason behind that ' .. and after some time with myself, it hit me.. do i do that often? no.. why not? if i think that their problem can be solved by doing that.. mine can too right? Lately, i have been trying to do that.. trying to see the other persons perspective.. trying to put myself in their shoes and then thinking about how i act.. and it helps.. sometimes, i realized that the things which i thought were too unreasonable are in fact not.. and if i would have switched roles, i would have expected the same thing..


well.. thats my bit of learning for today .. will ponder over these and will definitely try out both the things i mentioned here..

i.e. listen to my own advice and think from other people's perspectives..