CS!

CS .. dont know wots in the game which jus urges me to keep playing... every game is a new episode... i think it is the morbid, cruel nature of the game which is so binding.. u jus tend to stick ryt in front of the comp an shoot good or bad guys... jus plain shooting... nice way to take anger out...
like yesterday, we played CS from 7 in the evenin till 430 in the morning, with breaks needed for physical stress... may be its jus the plain lack of emotion while playing the game that makes it so fascinating..


HeLLBouND !!!!!!!

Stagnant

Stagnant !! one word, one state... converts the great force of clear, flowing water into a useless entity with things growing, things creeping all over... Stagnation just wastes the water.... its water without a purpose... well, the purpose it serves is to support other things growing in it.. it may be helping others, but it loses its capacity to be clear, to be 'nirmal'.. to flow, to produce the same magic..

Stagnant mind also loses its ability to think , to think clearly.. it doesnt have the brazenness of flowing water.. it lacks the sheer brilliance... the creativity of a stagnant mind is only like stagnant water, helping the weeds to grow.... 'empty mind is a devil's workshop' .. so true... so true... an empty or a stagnant mind loses the human spirit of purity..

Right now thts what my mind has become... STAGNANT... i can see the weeds growing, i can see the things creeping in the deep.. i cant see the bottom.. i have lost the purity.. But it shall come back... the only way to clear the stagnation of pond, is to let teh water flow... the water has to be out of pond... (I have to be out of my mind??).. but thats exactly what i need.. i need to be out of my mind!...

in loving memory

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly
I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you´re always there for me
You´re always home waiting
And now I come home and I miss your face oh
Smiling down on meI close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me!!

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you´re always there for me
You´re always home waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
Feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad He set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be with me still
All you did you did with feeling
And you always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will!

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me



this is a song called 'in loving memory' by alter bridge

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I am angry.. very angry at the moment.. Angry at the whole world... angry at people trying to tell me wot to do.. angry at being judged by people, who are inferior... angry because of the compromises... angry of the way things are goin.. angry at every damned thing.. jus plain ANGRY... FUCKIN ANGRY